


A Night at the Museum

by Cuthwyn



Series: Jayroy Week 2017 [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: British Museum, Fluff and Humor, Jason is banned from museums, M/M, Mummies are cool, Roy will never leave the cafe, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 02:10:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12620792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cuthwyn/pseuds/Cuthwyn
Summary: Roy decides Jason needs a vacation.Jason does not agree.Until museums are mentioned.The Batfamily refuse to go to museums with him.Roy finds out why.Jayroy Week 2017Day one: Nerds





	A Night at the Museum

**Author's Note:**

> So, this will Ben my last challenge until I finish my dissertation.  
> I just don't have the time at the moment.
> 
> So enjoy?

Roy had never been so elated to see the inside of a museum as he was right now.  
Stepping into the very aptly named ‘Great Court’ with its glass ceiling, marble staircase and classical architecture. However, his stunned reaction was nothing compared to Jason.  
Noticing that he was standing on his own, Roy turned to see Jason starring around in wide eyed awe, literally vibrating. Never had he ever seen his Jaybird so excited to be somewhere.  
‘I'm here.’ Jason said, although it was more like he mouthed the words than actually spoke them.  
Nodding, Roy took hold of his hand and guided his partner over to the informations desk.  
‘That's right. After two hours we are finally here. Shall we get a guidebook?’  
‘A guidebook? I can have a guidebook? To keep?’ Jason stumbled over his words like a child that had just been told he was going to Lapland to see Santa. Roy nodded and tried to hide the confusion as to why the guidebook was even a thing and just went ahead and bought them one.  
‘Mummies! They have mummies Harper! Room 54! Quick, stop dawdling.’  
Roy bit back a long suffering sigh and trudged after Jason who was skipping, actually skipping, up the marble staircase. The sight was definitely worth the hell fire it took to get here.

Jason had not wanted to go on vacation. At all. Full stop. End of story.  
Every suggestion Roy made about how a short break might be a good idea was either ignored entirely or resulted in insults being spat at him over forensic images of homicides. Now, Roy was well accustomed to the gory nature of homicide, but the methodical way Jason poured over every detail was more than a little unnerving. At first he thought it an obvious trigger for his Jaybird’s distress, but although sleeping with pictures of a disembowelled corpse on the nightstand didn't help, death was not something that disturbed Jason. At all. Give him a hungry child beaten black and blue and the guy crumbled but the dead apparently dug up no emotional reaction from him at all. Bruce saw it as nothing but an advantage for his little vengeance ‘I am the night’ war he had going on. Jason not only could stare at corpses for hours, he also had an uncanny knack for picking out the smallest details, the patterns even Batman himself could not see. It hadn't taken long for Bruce to figure out that Jason could see them even clearer if he didn't take his medication.  
Bruce was meant to be Jason's father, his son was meant to come first before some stupid cold case, but the truth was to the contrary. Jason usually took his medication methodically and when he didn't? That damn bat shaped asshole was usually to blame.

Now, Roy understood how medication helped Jason but he would never force the matter. Ultimately it was his Jaybird's choice, pills were not the only way. If Jason really, truly did not want to take them and wanted to try something else then Roy would support him without question. What he did not support, was the callous manipulation of Jason's undercurrent desire to be good enough. He’d like to think the man uncaring but truth be told, Bruce loved the bones of his second eldest, he just sucked at being a father sometimes. It probably hadn't even crossed his mind that actively persuading Jason to skip a few doses to hasten the outcome of a case was not a cool thing to do or why his son agreed to do it in the first place.  
Roy honestly wondered what was so wrong in just waiting? It's not as if Jason wouldn't work it out anyway, medicated or not.  
So, in an act of vengeance of his own, Roy had booked a vacation to London and wrestled Jason onto a plane and replaced the pictures of a strangled prostitute with a prescription. Sure his efforts had been met with great protests and threats to set Batman on him, but eventually, Jason slumped down in his seat and succumbed to glaring out of the plane’s window.

‘I hate you.’ Jason grumbled, but hardly intimidating as he sipped on a juice box he'd been given along with a few packets of peanut butter cups.  
‘I love you too, Jaybird. Now, let's try and find some chill for the last few hours of the flight okay?’  
‘London sucks. I’m not allowed within 10 feet of government buildings because-‘  
‘You tried to blow up Parliament. I know. That was years ago, as awesome as you are, I doubt you'll even be recognised now.’ Roy soothed, but Jason just pouted like toddler and sulked some more.  
‘I didn't try to blow up parliament! I was just practising! Why will no one believe me?’ Jason whined, and it took all of Roy’s willpower not to throw himself out of the damn plane.  
‘I can't imagine.’ He groused under his breath before smiling charmingly at the moron he was stuck sitting next to. ‘Whatever you say sweetheart. Maybe next time it would be a good idea to practice explosives in a big open field or I don't know? Somewhere away from landmarks of national importance?’  
Grunting his reluctant agreement, Jason took a long slurp of his juice and looked out of the window again.  
‘I don't like vacations.’

The same conversation replayed in different guises for the entire flight until they reached their hotel. Then, Jason quickly switched to complaining that the sheets were scratchy. It wasn't unexpected, if there was one thing Jason hated it was change, especially change being suddenly thrust upon him with no warning. The hotel itself was actually quite nice. Cheap enough to avoid a tantrum about living above their means, but nice enough to be comfortable and not worry about the other guests or carry a concealed weapon in the neighbourhood. Well, Jason still set about hiding a multitude of firearms and knives in their room but Roy just rolled with it, not even mildly surprised that Jason had managed to get them through customs by some sort of magic. Settling himself in the bed, he let his partner fuss and mumble to himself as he meticulously unpacked and found a place for absolutely everything before finally calling it a night.

The next morning dawned with Jason more settled in mood and casually curious about his new environment. After waking to a full on panic attack due to forgetting where he was, Jason sniffed and rolled his eyes when Roy made a b-line for the full English breakfast with extra hash browns. He however was content to just sit at their little table in the dining room and nibble at his toast whilst watching the streets of London out of the window.  
‘So, why here? Out of everywhere in the world, why are you holding me hostage here?’ Jason asked, and Roy fought hard not to facepalm.  
‘I haven't kidnapped you, Jaybird. We're on vacation. As for London? I personally haven't spent a lot of time in the UK, plus, I thought you'd enjoy dragging me around the umpteen million museums that are here.’

That caught Jason's attention and his gaze snapped away from the world outside to stare at Roy in barely contained excitement.  
‘I-I can go to the museums?’  
Smiling, Roy nodded and gave a small shrug, hopefully this would now mean the end of accusations of kidnap.  
‘Yeah, and if you behave, we might even round off the trip with a wander around the British Library after stopping by Platform 9 3/4’ Roy informed him, a feeling of exhilaration washing over him when Jason finally smiled. ‘The only caveat is that we stay away from the London Dungeons and in no way shape or form do we try to solve the case of Jack the Ripper, deal?’  
‘Deal.’ Jason replied, if somewhat begrudgingly as he sipped his tea. ‘I would like that. Bru- no one likes going to museums with me normally.’  
Now that did surprise Roy. Jason loved knowledge and finding out stuff, it was his thing. Always had been. How on earth had the Batfamily not taken full advantage of taking him to a museum? If only to keep him occupied for a few hours.

Roy didn't have to wait long to discover an inkling as to why Jason was very rarely included in family days out. Despite being only a few Tube stops away from the British Museum, it had taken them 2 hours to finally make it to their destination. The Underground was really not a conceivable option for Jason. He gave it a good go though, but only made it one stop before having to get off and scrabble desperately up to the surface to catch his breath. It was just too many people and being underground confined in a small box played too close to home for him to handle. The bus was just a flat out no. So that left the pair of them trying to navigate London’s streets on foot. Which would have been fine if Roy had been allowed to use Google maps, but Jason had been adamant that he knew the way. He didn't, but they did have a rather nice lunch sat on a wall by the river Thames.

So that brought Roy to now, watching Jason gape at hieroglyphics carved onto a tomb, stone coffin thing that Roy wasn't quite sure the name of. The room smelt odd, stuffy with a scent that Roy could only call death. Which he supposed was due to it being full of mummified bodies that were thousand of years old. At a guess, he would have said that the last place Jason Todd would want to be, would be in a room full of dead bodies due to being one himself, but here he was making his way through each exhibit. Wandering over, Roy joined his partner staring at a skeleton lying in a pit.  
‘Woah.’ Was all he could say. He had to admit there was something fascinating about delving into the depths of history and seeing someone who had actually lived back then was deeply humbling.  
‘Look Harper, how can you tell that people believed in an afterlife?’ Jason said, his eyes not moving from the skeleton.  
‘Um.’ Roy cocked his head at the pit. ‘Yeah. There's pots, animals buried too, hinting that loved ones believed that they would need them in the afterlife. It's just normal folks couldn't afford a tomb like a pharaoh.’

Nodding along, Jason made a agreeing noise in his throats before leaning over and motioning towards the skeleton. One quick glance around affirmed to Roy that Jason was unwittingly gaining an audience of fellow tourists.  
‘True. These are provisions to take with him into the afterlife and yes, your average person could not afford the extravagant burials, but they also couldn't read, so what was needed in the afterlife was passed down from the temples via hearsay. The big clue though, is the placement of the body. See? He's in a crouched position and here, his head is turned to the east. That is a good sign that there was a belief in an afterlife.’  
‘He?’ Roy asked, his brow furrowing slightly in disbelief. ‘How'd ya know they're male?’  
Cameras clicked and the small audience grew to that of an actual tour but Jason was too wrapped up in his own world to notice. He just sighed and motioned towards the skeleton again.  
‘The bone structure is clearly male and the sign says dental records suggest he died at around the age of 18/19.’

Roy nodded and made a purposeful effort not to purse his lips. The guy was the same age as Jason, this wasn't good. Looking closer he could see the sadness behind teal eyes as he motioned to the back of the skull.  
‘See here? The skull is dented and fractured. Blunt trauma to the back of the head. It's what killed him which is odd, as during the time he was alive Egypt was fairly peaceful.’  
‘What's the difference between a male and female skeleton?’ A small voice piped up. Suddenly Jason realised he had an audience, he notably shrank in on himself before shakily explaining the differences, if now somewhat quieter in volume. Sensing that their talk was over, the small throng of people meandered off to look at other things, leaving Jason alone, staring at the pile of bones blankly.  
‘Do you believe in an afterlife?’ He muttered, lifting a wide eyed gaze up at Roy, who shifted around uncomfortably and shrugged.  
‘I, um, well, I never thought about it. Maybe? Who knows.’  
‘I know.’ Jason replied matter of factly before wandering off towards a case filled with Egyptian jewellery. ‘But no one can know. No one should.’

Well that made things more somber and Roy couldn't help but look over at Jason in concern. Maybe walking around a gallery that was literally dedicated to death and the afterlife wasn't the best idea. Watching his partner make is way slowly around he couldn't help but wonder that maybe this was why the Batfamily refused to take Jason to a museum?  
The thought was strengthened even more when the pair of them ended up in front of a display of mummified animals. Ancient Egyptians did that apparently and Roy couldn't help but find the concept interesting and devoured the information like a ravenous man who hadn't eaten in days.  
‘Would you like me to mummify Scabbers, Harper?’  
Scabbers was a rat Roy had found half dead behind some bins a few months back and he had spent hours in his workshop nursing it back to health. The rodent had a missing toe, so Roy had christened the rat, Scabbers, and Jason was mildly convinced that he was indeed Peter Pettigrew.

The odd question shocked Roy out of his information consuming and he lifted his head to see Jason staring back at him with a genuine interest.  
‘Come again?’  
Sighing in frustration at not being understood, Jason motioned towards the animals.  
‘When you die? Shall I mummify Scabbers so he can go with you?’  
‘Um.’ Swallowing thickly, Roy went back to studying a mummified cobra. ‘I would like to think that I shall have a longer lifespan than that of a rat, Jaybird.’  
‘Oh, yeah. Well, I suppose I could go with you? Tim or someone would have to mummify me though.’  
The seriousness in Jason's tone was deeply disturbing and there was no way that they were going skipping off down this particular train of thought. Straightening up, Roy took hold of Jason's hand and the situation and walked them out of the gallery.  
‘No ones dying. Come on, they have the Rosetta Stone downstairs. Let's go see it.’

The Rosetta Stone was just a big a hit as the mummies. Especially when Jason discovered that he could attend a talk on it. He revelled in translating what was written on the stone. Once again Jason gained an audience by explaining to Roy how you can't exactly read hieroglyphics like they did on Indiana Jones, and how the Ancient Greek was used to finally translate it. Eventually, Roy gave up trying to coax Jason into thinking about moving around the galleries a little quicker and headed off to explore on his own. He managed to look at all the galleries and found a special interest in a room dedicated to the evolution of clockwork clocks. The skill and dedication put into each masterpiece was astonishing.  
After having a nosy around the gift shop, Roy headed back to see if Jason was ready to go yet. He wasn't. He had discovered more talks and had even managed to build budding friendships with the academics that ran them. Jason was in his element, his face alight with the passion he felt discussing in depth and complicated topics spanning from history and philosophy to science and language. Roy honestly couldn't bring himself to drag him away and on the one occasion he did try, he was completely ignored. So, instead, he sauntered off towards the cafe to buy a coffee and some cake to wait him out.

This table was all that Roy could remember. A small army of empty paper coffee cups grew to rival that of Tim on a no sleep bender. Roy had long since given up on ever leaving and was pretty convinced that the sympathetic barista, who was now giving him free coffee, was telling lies when he said that the museum would eventually close. Leaning back in his chair, Roy looked over to see Jason wandering over to the library with a gaggle of his new found friends and a bit more of his will to live slipped away. There was no reasoning with the idiot. Jason was lost in a world of academia and Roy had tried every trick in the book to convince Jason it was time to head back to the hotel with no success. Maybe it was time to call for back up? When all else failed, Dick was the first port of call for aid and if he failed, Bruce was the risky yet magic touch. Taking out his phone, Roy took a deep swig of coffee before dialling his old friend.

After a few rings an overly cheerful voice picked up and Roy already wanted to stab Dick.  
‘Roy! How dare you go on vacation without telling me! I could could have gone with you. I'd have packed my speedos and everything. But no, you have to be the sucky friend that left me behind with a broody Bruce because you took Jason away.’  
Sighing, Roy looked down at the brown liquid in his cup and swirled it around to watch the ripples.  
‘I need your help Dickiebird. Like seriously? I've lost Jay.’ He explained, wincing when he heard a very audible gasp.  
‘Jay’s gone? Right, um, okay, I'll call the airports, you take to the streets. Damn it Bruce what is so wrong with medication, is he taking his medication now? Fuck, it will be late evening before I can fly over to-‘  
‘No. No, I know where he is Dick.’ Roy said, lifting his gaze to see Jason running his finger over some papyrus to translate the writing there.  
‘Huh?’  
‘I took him to the British Museum. I can't get him to leave!’  
There was a long silence before Dick suddenly burst into laughter.  
‘Hah! The only way you're getting him out of there is by sedation Roy. Why'd you think none of us will take him to a museum, huh? It ain't because we just like being mean to Little Wing. He just nerds out and won't leave until the place closes. Even Bruce can't get him out and he even tried Batman when the Pre-Raphaelites came to the art gallery!’  
Roy swallowed thickly and shook his head in disbelief. How had he not figured that one out? That was why no one went to museums with Jason, it was obvious now.  
‘I promised to take him to the British Library on the way home.’ He mumbled in a quiet, defeated voice.  
‘Are you kidding me? Woah, we have got to talk about your suicidal ideation dude.’

Dick was right, regrettably, and if Roy wasn't feeling helpless before he made the call he definitely did now. This was a big, huge mistake.  
At some point Roy must have fallen asleep, despite the umpteen million cups of coffee. The next thing he knew, his shoulder was being shaken and someone was calling his name. Blinking open tired eyes, Roy peered up blearily at a beaming Jason and a security guard.  
‘Wakey wakey Harper, we gotta go. Museum’s shut.’  
Finally! Bless the Lord!  
Nodding, Roy rose to his feet and shot the security guard an apologetic smile.  
‘My apologies, what time is it?’  
‘8.40 sir. The museum closed at 8.30.’ The man replied gruffly, before giving Roy a knowing wink. ‘You'll be surprised how many enthusiasts try to stay after hours. Nice to see a young lad so interested.’  
Roy couldn't help but smile at that. Thanking the guard again, he took Jason's hand and together they walked out of the museum into the early evening. The entire way, Jason was smiling and waving goodbye to the staff, who he now was apparently on first name terms with. It was something that just stuck the smile on Roy's face. Jason struggled to build friendships so to see that he had befriended the British Museum, who recognised just how damn clever he was, was more than a little heart warming.

‘I'm sorry for getting carried away. I'll understand if you don't wanna go anywhere else.’ Jason mumbled around a mouthful of chips as they walked back to the hotel. Dipping a chip of his own into a dollop of ketchup, Roy saw the sadness seeping back into teal eyes that had seemed to shine all day. Sure, taking Jason to museums was a long and tiring event, but Jason had enjoyed himself and how many times had he sat in a workshop and listened to an elongated lecture on Roybots? He'd purposely bought chips because Roy had never tried the British version of fries. At his core, Jason was so selfless.  
‘Nah, where do you want to go tomorrow?’ Roy asked, and he couldn't help but smile at the exited, boyish grin that erupted across Jason's face.  
‘Can we go to the Charles Dickens Museum?’


End file.
